Are you a woman interested in christian online dating, but want to keep the bad dates, creepy guys and eye widening horror stories at arms length? If so, we have something in common. Because that was literally me.
In our digital era, millions of potential partners are all just a click away. Naturally, I had to give it a try. Through a lot of trial and error, I’ve found the most effective tips and tricks to online date as a christian woman both safely and successfully. And I’m here to share them with you!
If you want to date online, I am here to give you the blueprint and answer your burning Christian online dating questions!
Pros of online dating
- You’ll find a lot of Christian singles online—and I mean a lot.
- It helps save time for ABIDE’s busy career women, who have jam-packed schedules and find it hard to meet new people outside work.
- Online dating increases your sense of control. You have the power to choose your own matches.
- Even if it doesn’t work out romantically, you can still gain new friends.
- The best international Christian dating sites are usually free!
Cons of online dating
- Other than charming Christian singles, you may also meet scammers.
- For adults like us, online conversations may not give us the same spark we feel when meeting people in real life. Some people’s online personalities are quite different from their real-life presences too.
- With online dating, there is an increased risk of misrepresentation. Some people’s pictures on dating apps are overly filtered and don’t look like their real selves.
- Some popular dating sites cost money.
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What does the Bible say about online dating?
For ladies looking to mingle, take this Christian online dating advice!
1. Some people may fake being nice to gain your trust and show their true colors later on, so be mindful.
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” — Matthew 7:15
2. Instead of putting up a facade while dating, aim to be righteous (forthright with your morals and values) and transparent. Find someone who loves God like you do.
“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” — 2 Timothy 2:22
3. Being in a relationship is a two-way street. You can’t only look at yourself, but you must be considerate toward your dates and/or future partners too.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4
Best Christian online dating sites
- Christian Mingle – Available both as a site and an app! As of right now, Christian Mingle charges $49.99 subscription cost per month.
- Christian Dating for Free (CDFF) – This is one of the largest and best free international Christian dating sites. Best believe you’ll find someone here!
- cMatch – If you’re single and born again, this free Christian dating site / app aims to set you up for marriage. Sign up to meet over 130,000 Christian singles!
- Christian Connection – This is the award-winning site/app. Thousands of Christian singles have found their loves here. You may be the next lucky one.
- eHarmony
- Upward
How to create a profile
For adults who mingle online, here are some tips on creating a profile that will draw the right ones in!
- Add 5-7 pictures of yourself – Add multiple pictures of you doing various activities. This is a great way to show off your personality!
- Write a bio that screams you – A lot of people—adults, young adults, ladies, widows, college students—all make the same mistake of leaving their bios blank. Bios are a great chance to show who you are. Just include basic information about yourself, and be concise! (e.g. teacher, fitness enthusiast, dog lover)
- Avoid cliches – Sentences like “bios are overrated” or “I don’t know what to write here” are overused and do not reflect your unique personality. On dating apps, you should aim to write something that sets you apart.
- Stay positive and use respectful language – Focus on attracting who you want instead of detracting the wrong ones. Do not say things like “If you have kids, don’t message me.” Rather, try focusing on the qualities you want in a partner, or the adventures and life events you want to experience together.
- Do not lie – This is really important! Don’t lie about your age, location, or education. Be transparent. Let people like you for your real self.
Red flags to beware
What is a healthy Christian dating relationship? What to look for in a guy in Christian dating? The answers to these questions vary case by case, but there are still a few red flags that can be observed early on.
- Love-bombing – Love-bombing is when someone showers you with too much affection in an attempt to manipulate you later on. If you’re only talking to this guy for 3 days, and he says he can die for you—run girl run!
- Bad-mouthing exes – Steer away from a guy who bad-mouths his exes to you all the time. Imagine if he and you don’t work out in the future. Will he bad-mouth you too?
- Inconsistencies – Is the guy often late to your dates? Does he say he’ll call but later forgets? This kind of behavior shows a lack of respect, and it may escalate into an even bigger problem later on.
Ideas for first-date locations
Remember, the best first-date location must be somewhere public and well-known to you. Safety first, girls! Here are general location ideas to help you choose.
- Cafés
- Restaurants
- Department stores
- Libraries
- Aquariums
- Zoos
- Museums
- Parks
- Food Courts
- Or you can even stroll around aimlessly in the city!
What are the boundaries in Christian dating?
Should Christians kiss while dating? How do you have a godly dating relationship? Intimacy in Christian dating is an age-old question, but I’ll help clear all your doubts here—with an answer from the Bible.
First decide what you both want out of dating and/or marriage. If you’re both after seeking Jesus and knowing Him deeper, these boundaries will come more naturally.
1.Set boundaries for emotional intimacy.
In this case, guard your heart by not throwing truth or red flags out the window.
“Above everything else, guard your heart. It is where your life comes from.” — Proverbs 4:23 NIV
2. Set boundaries for expectations
Are you dating with marriage in mind? Is he? Or is this just something to do on a Saturday night. Be clear on what you both want out of this relationship.
3. Set boundaries for sexual intimacy
Straight to the point, it really is a personal desire if you want to remain celibate to honor God’s word. If this is your desire, it’s important to know yourself, know your limits, and resist temptations. Biblically, kissing is not a sin, but it can lead to sex before marriage which God warns against due to the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual baggage it can cause.
God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. –1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 NLT
4. Set boundaries for promises
Be careful not to get swept away with your words. For some reason, when sex is off the table, promises of love, marriage and kids come very quickly. Don’t make promises you can’t keep or make statements you don’t believe.
